They told me Santa was a hoax

Blazing Reader,

For Christmas 2000 I spent two weeks living on a farm outside of Stavanger, Norway. Surprisingly, despite being 19 degrees farther north than Toronto, the weather was probably 19 degrees warmer. When I stepped out of the airport, I was disappointed by the utter lack of snow.

Well, a few days before Christmas the snow started falling and it didn't stop. Nor did the culture shock. Despite having Christmas trees and flying reindeer, there was no Santa Claus. I was told he was a hoax. Instead, gifts were delivered by tiny dwarves called nissen. My Norwegian hosts took pity on my ignorance and gifted me a book that would red pill me on the Norsk facts. Despite being an illustrated children's book, it wasn't a speed read. With the help of a Norwegian-English dictionary I made it through the first page of text. I still own the book which you can see here (along with the nissen hat they gave me):

On that first page, however, I learned that it was easy to prove the existence of these miniature gift-giving dwarves who preferred porridge rather than cookies left out for them on Christmas Eve. Apparently, if I would stand out in the woods "musestille" (still like a mouse) I would be able to spot a nissen walking by on one of its errands.

Every day, I dutifully went out into the snow-covered woods to meditate like a frozen mouse, alert for a sighting of these mythical creatures. By the third day, I'd seen nothing, neither nissens nor humans. The local farmers, however, had seen me and were starting to talk about this Canadian who wandered their woodlots looking for nissen.

Finally, one day shortly after Christmas, a white dog, of a breed I could not identify, found me. He dropped a stick at my feet. I threw it. He ran, caught it, and brought it back. It doesn't take much to distract me. I abandoned my search for nissen and went for a long hike with this friendly dog, tossing sticks and making him so happy I almost forgot my disillusionment over never finding a nissen.

Santa and nissens may both be hoaxes, but I am confident dogs who like chasing sticks are real.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas,
— John C.A. Manley

John C. A. Manley is the author of Much Ado About Corona: A Dystopian Love Story, the forthcoming All The Humans Are Sleeping and other works of speculative fiction. Get free samples of his stories by becoming a Blazing Pine Cone email subscriber at: https://blazingpinecone.com/subscribe/