The Seinfeld Conspiracy Theory

Wed Feb 7 2024

Blazing Reader,

In response to last Thursday's post — in which I referred to the characters in the TV show Seinfeld as a "bunch of sociopaths" — one of my trusted proofreaders, Pete Toccalino (AKA Signor Typolino) sent this email:

"You're spot on about Seinfeld, although it's only upon revisiting it as a 'conspiracy theorist' that I realized just how perverse the show was (although admittedly still funny). It's amazing how much sexual content gets slipped into seemingly innocuous sitcoms and TV dramas, and just how normalized it all was growing up in the 80s and 90s and consuming mainstream TV and Hollywood productions."

Pete and are about the same age. I, too, was growing taller in the 90s — attending a Catholic high school. Every Friday, after Seinfeld aired the previous night, not only the students but also the teachers would be talking about the latest episode (even in religion class). I found this a bit confusing, as the show was clearly not aligned with many of the values taught by the church. Nonetheless, Seinfeld was a Thursday night ritual that caused buzz in much the same way Father Zimmer's Sunday morning sermons did not.

Similar to what I said in my previous post, I was surprised my religion teacher could be so outspoken against promiscuous behaviour yet a loyal viewer of Jerry Seinfeld and his one-night stands.

I mean, pick a side. I don't care which one. But the mixed messaging was bizarre.

Subscriber Paul Jackson confirmed with this one-line email:

"So true, like cutting off the branch you are standing on, most TV is rubbish!"

I agree with Paul, most (but not all) TV is rubbish. But the main reason I avoided Seinfeld in the 90s had little to do with its promiscuous humour, it was because:

1) Anything that popular, I figured, couldn't be good for you. It's kind of like blue jeans — it must be a conspiracy.

And 2) The characters weren't heroes. I like stories where the main characters are role models of inspiring accomplishments, not amusing examples of mediocrity.

Give me a hero who can tell good jokes, and I'm in.

—John C.A. Manley

PS In defence of Jerry Seinfeld, I did study his book Sein Language and even memorized and performed several of the stand-up acts contained therein. He did a wonderful job of using observational humour to critique human psychology. You can purchase a copy through my shopat: https://blazingpinecone.com/shop/sein-language

PPS My Jerry Seinfield imitations helped me land a lead role in a high school production of the Pink Panther Stikes again, which you can read about here: https://www.blazingpinecone.com/news/2023/11/18/




John C. A. Manley is the author of Much Ado About Corona: A Dystopian Love Story, the forthcoming All The Humans Are Sleeping and other works of speculative fiction. Get free samples of his stories by becoming a Blazing Pine Cone email subscirber at: https://blazingpinecone.com/subscribe/